Did you ever play with fireworks when you were young? Hopefully you played safety with it. One Time my cousin played a dangerous game with fireworks. He is a crazy guy and he likes to play dangerous games and show-off, so I hate him. I always tried to get him in trouble, but he always succeed blaming someone else he was a really good at it, one time he even did something wrong and he blamed his grandpa.
It happened at my grandmother’s house, it was Chinese New Year, so he was allowed to play with fireworks. At first he was acting well in front of his parents, but then all the parents went to eat. He went crazy and took a bag of frogs from his back pack. He started blowing frogs up with fireworks. The frog’s blood went over his body and all over the place. Later on his friends arrived too. They also blow up frogs. It made the entire place dirty and smelly. I wanted to join them but they wouldn’t let me, they said only friends could play. Then I got so frustrated, that I went in the house and told all the parents to come out and see what they were doing.
Finally, the world was peaceful. They got grounded and couldn’t play any fireworks unless I say they could. I finally got him in trouble and I look in charge of the fireworks. My cousin and his friend had to stay and clean the blood. They did not get any red envelope for rest of the year and I got theirs, so I got double. This was the best Chinese New Year ever in my life.
Most of the story is in the past, so most of the story will be in past tense. Only the part where you describe what your cousin is like will be in present tense. Ex. "My cousin is a crazy guy, he likes to do dangerous things and show off and so I hate him."
ReplyDeleteHave you ever play firework when you are young? Hopefully you play save with those stuff (You need to use participles when you use have you ever... ex. Have you ever eaten a monkey? Not Have you ever eat a monkey?
Go through this and check your verbs one more time Ken. This is important for you to start fixing now. It will help your writing a lot later.
Correct and pass